In a sleek Nairobi office tower, 24-year-old Faith* sat across from her colleagues in what was supposed to be a routine meeting. But the moment her name was mentioned tied to an opinion she didn’t share Faith found herself frozen by an unspoken dilemma: speak up and risk being labeled “difficult,” or smile and stay silent.
She chose the latter.
“I felt an invisible pressure to be agreeable,” she later recalled. “To smile. To not come across as combative or moody.”
Faith, a recent graduate and one of the first in her family to complete university, is not alone. Her experience captures the quiet reality many young women in Kenya face as they navigate the early stages of their careers. Beneath the surface of professional ambition lies a deep-rooted cultural expectation one that subtly demands politeness over principle, likability over leadership.
While workplace equality efforts have made gains globally, new research highlights that in developing economies like Kenya, Nigeria, and India, women still face steep barriers as they climb the corporate ladder. A recent Women in the Workplace 2025 report by McKinsey & Company found a sharp drop in female representation between entry-level and senior positions. In Kenya, women make up 50% of junior roles in key sectors such as healthcare and financial services. That figure drops to just 26% in leadership.
The phenomenon, known as “the broken rung,” describes the first major hurdle that derails women’s upward mobility. But alongside structural challenges limited mentorship, gendered performance evaluations, and workplace bias is the often-overlooked emotional labor: the expectation to be pleasant, agreeable, and non-threatening.
“I didn’t want to come off as too opinionated, especially so early in my career,” Faith said. “There’s a feeling that you need to earn the right to disagree.”
In many Kenyan workplaces, particularly male-dominated environments, assertive women are still viewed with suspicion or discomfort. Soft skills like diplomacy and warmth, while valuable, are often demanded disproportionately from women and used to evaluate their worth beyond performance. The unwritten rule: be competent, but not confrontational; be confident, but not intimidating.
These silent pressures can have long-term consequences not just on career progression, but on women’s sense of agency and belonging in professional spaces. Over time, consistent self-censorship can dull leadership instincts and discourage women from taking bold steps.
Experts say addressing the likeability trap requires more than just diversity quotas. It calls for workplace cultures that embrace dissent, reward merit, and challenge stereotypes about how leadership should “look” or “sound.” Mentorship programs, gender-sensitive management training, and intentional promotion pipelines are among the solutions being championed by advocates.
Faith, now reflecting on that meeting, knows her silence was shaped by more than just inexperience. It was shaped by a professional culture that still equates a woman’s value with her ability to appease.
“I want to speak up more. But I also want to do it without fearing I’ll be judged for it.”
For young women like Faith, climbing the ladder shouldn't require shrinking themselves to fit in. The future of Kenya’s workplaces depends not just on hiring more women but on letting them show up fully.
*Name changed to protect identity.